Really?
by Prosper-the-XVIII
Summary: M, James, Q, Mallory and Eve read fanfiction, and are generally speaking not impressed...


**Okay, so I just decided...what would happen if James, M,. Moneypenny, Q and Mallory discovered FanFiction about themselves and read it? Skyfall spoilers, pre-Skyfall, contains just about every pairing in existence. This contains no flames whatsoever; if I reference your fic here then it isn't me getting annoyed, it's the guys. I'm using a lot of my own fics too.**

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"Okay, so tell me, what's all this?" M said as Q dumped a huge mound of paper on her desk. The Quartermaster had Mallory, 007 and Eve Moneypenny behind him.

"Something called FanFiction," Q said. "It appears to be stories that other people write about us, though how the hell they know about us at all is bloody frustrating."

"Fair enough, but why are we all here?"

"Well, ma'am, it apperrs that the six of us are the six people most frequently written about, so I thought that reading it may be a good idea. Just...to find out exactly what it is," that was Eve this time.

"Well then, unlike some people I'm not getting old waiting," James flashed a cheeky glance at M, earning him her famous death-stare. "I'm going to get stuck in with this- What the bloody HELL is this?" James was frantically waving around the wodge of paper in his hand after reading what could only have been a few lines.

"What is it?" M stood up, taking the sheets from him. She read aloud the short paragraph below the title, supressing a laugh as she did so, more at James's reaction than anything else. "'Q's body is softer to the pain of torture, but James is the one who cannot sleep, 00Q'! Honestly, I don't see your problem. People are allowed to be gay whether you like it or not, and you can hardly blame them for writing this; they don't know you - at least they shouldn't - and therefor they wouldn't know about your sexuality."

"Well, M, you're not exactly portrayed as a complete angel either," Mallory smirked; he'd been skim-reading a few pages and now read aloud amorously, putting on a dreadful parody of M's accent; "_'She looked into his dark, moist, soulful eyes, which stared into her own steely blue ones as his lips brushed hers in a way that only they could_-' OW!" Mallory cried out as M punched him in the shoulder, her expression darkening. "Who is this 'Tiago' character, anyway?"

"Ooh, bad girl, M," James quipped as he dug through the papers now obscuring M's desk completely.

"He was no-one that concerns you," M muttered, skimming through yet more 00Q in an attempt to get back at James. "Oh, here, you and Q'll love this one; _Evelyn_. I suppose it's really the full package; Q's a complete emotional wreck, you're gay lovers and you have a daughter whom the fic's named after," M laughed through her nose as James snatched the fic off of her and then almost exploded as he read it.

M couldn't help but notice Eve perched on a corner of her desk, sniggering slightly. "What is it, Moneypenny?"

"This," Eve was falling about laughing now. "You get pregnant...by James!"

"What!?" M fumed as she aalmost knocked her secretary's head off grabbing at it. "This is...this is..."

"And there's this," Q offered as he held out a wodge of sheets in a folder marked 'SCARS SERIES'. "By the same author."

As M read, draining of colour almost completely, Q went on. "As well as that by this 'Prosper-the-XVIII' character, there's loads else. Most of it's about you and it seems that he/she/it really enjoys putting you through the mill. Mostly it's broken limbs, but they've got you paralyzed in one, shot and almost killed in another and there's abotu three when you..." Q tailed off at that.

"When I what?"

"...Die..."

"What the-!?" M's look of pure disbelief was almost tearworthy.

"And there's loads more by other authors; it must be some kind of thing because it happens in the same way every time. They all have something to do with Skyfall and they also all seem to follow the notion of you and 007 being a couple. Seriously, they all sound really romance-y; Losing the Fight, Evelyn, When the Sky Falls Down, Goodbye in her Eyes, Gun-Given Solace...no, wait, James dies in that one, not you. Of course, there's loads when the same thing happens but you don't die; you always get shot in the hip for some reason," James said now. "And they all say something about..."

Mallory was the last to say anything before the awkward silence. "...Skyfall."

TO BE CONTINUED...


End file.
